


No Place To Hide From Yourself

by BlueDiamondStar



Series: Shadow Hunter & Hawkeye AU or First Wave gets new life [3]
Category: First Wave, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Avengers - Freeform, Canon Divergence - Avengers (2012), Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Dark Past, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Wave - AU, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Out of Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-30
Updated: 2018-09-30
Packaged: 2019-07-20 22:36:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16146989
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueDiamondStar/pseuds/BlueDiamondStar
Summary: There is just nothing he could do but wait and think it over. Nothing had certain answers yet...





	No Place To Hide From Yourself

 

_**** _

 

 

_**You can't start from** _

_**Where I end** _

_**You can't start from** _

_**Where I end** _

 

 

At first it felt just like that day when he first found out the truth about the Gua thing and what their plan was to deal about it. The fact his timeline and current one was all off never even registered. For about two hours the hospital staff spent fighting the man in the bed hard enough for one of them resolving to only reasonable solution. They ended up sedating the man and that now left Clint alone with his thoughts and worries sitting outside in the hallway. He had screamed something about them before succumbing to the sedatives. Clint had no idea what was all of that nor from where it had come from. And likely he felt no desire to do so. 

After all he'd been a witness to most oldest partner of his screaming his head off something about ancient alien race invading the planet and hiding among humans. 

Albeit riddicculous still it reminded of so much more. And the man wasn't anything like older than Clint. Maybe somewhere was that truth but for now all would work. 

Somehow he felt alien to the whole situation and all the while he kept telling himself he still knew the man from the past the truth was he had no idea anymore. For the past couple days since he was secretly passed on the tiny folded strip of paper from outside through the tiny crack between the door and floor that slid all the way across the tiny quarters floor and stopped just shy of his booted feet.

Yes it once was a way to pass on some secret information but that had been ages ago. For once he hadn't been yet employed by SHIELD or particularly anyone. And he was freshly into his more darker part of the career he never spoke of nor was it ever put down in any file known to humanity. It was his most guarded secret ever and so far there was no reason to tell anyone.

 

_**Oh my time is up I know you're gonna burn me** _

_**Your judgment's coiled just like a snake** _

_**Around my neck** _

_**Oh my time is up** _

_**I know you're gonna hang me** _

_**And the noose is pulled so tight** _

_**That it's hard for me to breathe** _

 

 

All until the mystery paper slip made its way into his room and turned at least twenty years long ago buried past back to reality. None of it made sense that long after the initial events but somehow something was up and he wasn't done with keeping his past hidden. It felt more like recurring long term job once you sign up there is no way to get rid of it other than dying. Not that Clint looked into that option. Not anymore.

 

_**Do you remember just who you are** _

_**The cold December has burnt out your star** _

 

 

 

So there he was all by himself and no answers to about million questions. And the man he buried long years ago was all too alive behind the observation window.

According to doctors Cade had a very serious knee injury, among some more, that while was fresh did more shit wrong than the original injury that once occurred to the very same knee years ago. Now the both injuries were making everything into a more unintelligible mess than was necessary and some doctor or other was deciding upon what do do about it. Others were talking about brain damage and some possible back issue and that was about it before Clint lost them completely. And for that one it was not all.

Obviously whatever had happened to his oldest friend and comrade on Earth had also severely messed up his mind too. Cade Foster was the dangerous, unpredictable and in a way unstable sort of people. As he was smart and fast he was also a deadly and sneaky force. Yet it was a trait that many places loved to have in their employees and made it an honor to find all of those traits. Clint himself had once been considered one of a kind and a force to be recon. Long since things had changed but he wasn't to complain anyway.

There once had been many things that made the two something SHIELD was still looking for and partly found in the Avengers. Of course they had Tony and Cap and Widow and after all JARVIS and all the fancy tech neither had over a decade ago when Clint and Cade forged their friendship only to loose it many years that followed later. And there was nothing they could've done about it. It was what they had signed up for. Even SHIELD didn't really know this and basically nobody really and truly knew why the big asses still wanted dibs on his ass so badly only Avengers Initiative had saved him. Only highest level access knew barest of details just as much as he was not really on good terms with the old bastards. Even the almighty Director Nick Fury only knew there was huge hypothetical red flag above Clint's head for some dark stuff from his past before SHIELD. And not a line more.

Maybe that was why he got taken up by the agency. Maybe they did appreciate his overly human being and rather skilled hands. Barton slipped outside of the hospital room and once again went over all the things he actually did know. As he sat on top the roof and didn't quite registered the final dregs of sunlight that day his mind kept falling back to the final time. Yes there was the whole building crashing down upon Foster before that. The actual fear had been coming from time almost year after that incident. The goodbye..

 

_**Oh my time is up** _

_**My destiny is certain** _

_**Your curse floats above me** _

_**Like the melody I hear** _

_**Oh my time is up** _

_**Grant me one last request** _

_**Sing me this song of death** _

 

Clint wasn't a religious man nor Cade has ever been. They did have their own lines to not cross and untold taboos. Each of them had some. They were under the same organization for literally nearly a decade and equal amount of blood were on their hands. But now there was a new life for each of them. Yes maybe Hawkeye wasn't that much of an innocent nickname after all. He once did some amazing shit for blood and money and safety of secrets and other lives. Maybe he did possess something slightly overboard for simple human but better nobody knows yet. At least Tony Stark. Of all the people he'd met the genious, billionaire, playboy. philantropist Tony Stark held awfully lot simple feelings and unprecedented amount of caring.

Maybe the man was terrible at emotions but he had clearly visible intentions and when he was among people he trusted the most it was way too visible how much the tabloids were missing. And sure, about same amount everyone else were missing about Clint as well. He had one impressive poker face and nobody, not even Widow, had seen through it.

Maybe there was about time he finally came clean? And hopefully he will be forgiven? Nah, scratch that. Who would even stand him near by with even ten feet pole in between? That level of betrayal better be saved for his grave so at least he would die in peace.

But there it was again. The constant reminder of his life being too short. Well not that short but some kind of sense of its ending was inevitably hanging above his head anyway. Maybe there was no sniper across half city sitting on a rooftop hidden away and aiming a rifle at his heart or head.

Out of old reflex Clint climbed off the ledger and tucked himself into a crease between segmented parts of roof area and placed a ventilation outlet in between. Just for extra safety measure. But it wasn't him being famous over air vents traveling back in the day. That one he owed to Foster. After all a guy with codename _Shadow Hunter_ couldn't afford being that visible. For one he could give brownie points to the people who trained the guy before. He was even better than Clint and he rarely let anyone be better at archery. Not just that. Foster was so much of other traits. Like picking all variety of locks, safes, security systems, infiltrating into all kinds of environments. He was pretty fast too when chasing some sneaky prey.

And the way the guy always aimed at his target and never missed even if he was not looking at it was truly impressive. Clint was almost that good. But he still lacked something and it was irritating not to be able to put a finger on it. But he was famous for his archery and tree gliding and ability to be super quiet.

Yes, Foster was better in all those parts but he did choose his way slightly differently. And just maybe a little more primitive. Foster had large variety of weapons he could master at and did so with superb results. But he also fared in everything. And the speed he could be taught to use some new weapon was even more impressive. One of a kind warrior.

Suddenly it occurred to Clint that maybe Cade came from some sort of twisted military place. At least that came to mind from all the way he'd seen the guy keeping his bunk all neat and at order and how strictly he did his chores and preparations. Maybe only someone with OCD had that level of all-around-order. Everything was more than possible and in a place where people held more secrets than Nick Fury's secrets Clint assumed he better not find out that much. With all this he was sort of avoiding SHIELD and Avengers.

For them he was on a mission and his return was yet to be determined. But of all in the agency there was nobody he knew could be knowing about this. Still there was the note in his room and no records of who had passed it to him in this rather secretative way.

Maybe if somebody from the same place had ended up in SHIELD but how would they know anything when all his life that time had been covered in more secrets than deepest ocean. There was mystery to solve but another one was just few floors below. Man of mystery suddenly back from dead and his dark past. How he's gonna sort this all out?

 

_**Got no time for waiting** _

_**Got no time to waste** _

_**Everywhere machines here** _

_**Set a deadly pace** _

_**Got no time for questions** _

_**You have work to do** _

_**Got no time to stand now** _

_**If you stop, you lose** _

_**Just breathe in** _

_**Then breathe out** _

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Ahem...  
> No flaming okay?  
> Just next part because I felt like it and was listening random list of OOMPH! songs on Youtube while this wrote itself.  
> It's complete AU and has little to do with Avengers but they will be mentioned because I wanted so. And Clint is technically an Avenger and until he has no separate movie I will tag this to Avengers okay?  
> Also there is no certain timeline so maybe I dunno during IW? Because Hawkeye was amiss?  
> Either way just being nostalgic over First Wave series and I originally just wanted to bring it out since back in the day I was just a kid who had no idea that fanfiction existed let alone had technology to write it nor education (I literally was just middle schooler when the show went off in my location so... yes I managed to watch some of it before I was older and allowed to watch full series reruns).  
> And I freaking loved millenium special effects and the simplicity of that age television making. Just like another series circa the same timeline or slightly after that I would dearly love to fuse with this one and make some epicness out of (even if just for myself xD )
> 
> Anyways thank you very much if you did take time to read. Even more if you left a kudos.  
> I appreciate all kinds of love. 
> 
> And I do realize I struggle with timelines and some other stuff so before you CC me know that most of the time I am aware of my imperfections and don't need negativity if it's not gentle.  
> nobody's perfect but well I shouldn't care because I just wanted to write for this fandom for over two decades so a little respect here. 
> 
> XOXOXO  
> BDS


End file.
